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partybarackisinthehousetonight:

mark, my words. *mark brings me my dictionary* thank you mark


girl:  babe come over
boy:  I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
girl:  my parents aren't home
boy:  I know

iwasrepeals:

Its pretty late, I’m gonna go to bed *browses every social media site known to man for over an hour*

bagmilk:

sorry for replying in  0.2 seconds haha its not like i was waiting hahaha

silversora:

Allergies are weird as heck. You can snap a humans leg in half and they can recover but if you eat this peanut u dead

vanehwasreal:

me and my friends asked to act casual for a picture

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